I am a big believer that our lives are both a mix of creating our own destiny and fate. You cannot leave everything up to chance, but at the same time, you often cannot control all of the variables. As a person who tends to like being in control (that’s putting it nicely), this can be a hard thing to accept. But, once you come to the realization that you can only control so much, you tend to lead a happier life.

So, what can we control? It’s much easier said than done, but as humans we have the ability to actively control our mindset. This takes a lot of practice and isn’t something that can be achieved, and certainly not something that can be perfected overnight. If you wake up in the morning and TELL yourself it is going to be a great day, remind yourself of your many blessings, and take the time to be THANKFUl for all that you have; you are setting yourself up for success. On the contrary, if you start your day irritated about the “small stuff” and in a pessimistic state of mind, not reminding yourself of the “bigger picture”, you’re less likely to make progress towards any sort of fulfillment that you are seeking. To reiterate, choosing your mindset isn’t like picking out a shirt in the morning (although this, too, can be a struggle for some) it takes a lot of practice. Of course, there will always be situations in life where aggravation, anger, sadness, stress etc. ensues; But it’s about not letting these moments alter your peace of mind. There is nothing we can do about the disappointments that are inevitable in every single person’s life. But, we can choose to move forward from a setback by accepting it with a positive outlook and new approach, rather than harping on the disappointment and becoming bitter.

There are several tactics that can help us to remain in a positive state of mind. One of the many things I learned from “The Art of Happiness”, was that the Dalai Lama adamantly believes that compassion and kindness increase happiness not just in those you are helping, but also in youreself! Literally, the area of the brain where happiness resides shows more positive activity when we take the time to help out a friend, or even a stranger. In essence, being kind is not only beneficial to those you are helping, but also to yourself. That being said, if you can take a bit of time out of your day to get a homeless person a meal, volunteer at a animal shelter, help a friend with a favor, or EVEN do small things like smile and hold the door for someone – it is MUTUALLY beneficial. You’re setting yourself up for a great day, while helping another human being simultaneously. Personally, I’ve seen great changes in my attitude when I start my day by finding ways to “pay it forward.”

All of this being said , I would personally be a hypocrite and be extremely remiss to not account for individuals who are predisposed to mental health issues. I am an advocate that taking care of your mental health is a necessity and should be a priority in everyone’s life. I do feel that in certain cases, chemical imbalances exist where a combination of therapy, and sometimes, the utilization of proper medication is necessary. But, with the right care and seeking the help you deserve, even individuals who suffer from things like depression and anxiety can work towards choosing their mindset too.

Aside from training your brain to think positively, we can also choose to surround ourselves with people that want the best for us. We are only as good as the company we keep! If you are seeking a promotion at work, working towards a fitness goal, studying for a big exam, or whatever it may be; it’s so important to expose yourself to people that support your development, and truly want the best for you. We get to choose who is fortunate enough to be a part of our lives, and it really is not a decision that should be taken lightly.

We also get to choose to put ourselves in the right situations. For example , if your goal is to become a physician and you have a choice between going out on the town on a Friday, or staying in and studying for your MCAT, you can either decide between pleasure or longterm fulfillment. I never differentiated between happiness and pleasure prior to becoming intrigued by the Dalai Lama’s teachings. Happiness is longterm, while pleasure is generally immediate and fleeting. If you decide to go out with your friends instead of staying in to study, in that moment you may feel a sense of pleasure. But, when you don’t get the score you had hoped for on your test, this will have a much greater impact on your longterm happiness. Choosing to put yourself in the right situations in life to excel and work towards your life’s purpose is truly up to you. We decide. Understanding that pleasure is short term and fulfillment is lasting makes it easier to stay on the right path towards your goals.

So, if we are capable of choosing our mindset, the people we surround ourselves with, and the situations we expose ourselves to, what’s next? TRUSTING IN THE UNIVERSE! If you do your part, believing that fate does play a role in your life and that we cannot control everything is liberating. If you do your part, pretty soon you start to see the puzzle pieces coming together, but it isn’t always exactly how you planned it – and that’s okay. That’s life. We need to control the variables we can and let faith and the universe take care of the rest.
Love and Light,

-Meyer’s Grace

“Trust in the Universe. Use your talents and gifts. Embrace your life’s purpose with clarity and love.”