As I sat down to brunch with an old friend from college last week, I expected to reminisce about the good ole days, (which we did), but I didn’t expect things to turn philosophical. My friend has a very stressful, commission driven job and he is the epitome of a hard worker. More importantly, he enjoys what he does, which is a rarity in this society. As we were discussing life, he proceeded to tell me that one inspirational phrase in particular has stuck with him throughout the years: Why not me? He asks himself this question every single morning when he gets out of bed. I sat there, repeating “Why not me?” silently in my head for the remainder of the brunch.

Remember in Elementary school when we were all asked to write down what we wanted to be when we grew up? Some of the answers I can recall reading were things like: astronaut, professional athlete, police officer, actor, singer, pilot, FBI agent etc. As children, having the mentality that anything is possible is a commonality. Children are, for the most part, not jaded or apathetic about their futures- they truly believe the world is their oyster. Heck, my niece Gracie is convinced she’s destined to be the next Princess Sophia. Somewhere along the way, many of us lose this drive and passion, and begin to think of every possible reason why we can’t, instead of why we can. What I’m saying is that the older we get, the more cynical we become. I’m not suggesting that we should all quit our jobs and set out to finally achieve our childhood dream (I’m a realist and most of us were never meant to be a professional baseball player, or singer, sorry) BUT we can certainly learn something from the positive disposition we have as kids.

When I was growing up, I remember reading the book “The Little Engine That Could”, by Watty Piper. The famous motto that the little engine repeats to himself throughout the story is, “I think I can, I think I can.” By remaining optimistic and believing in himself, the little blue engine is able to complete a daunting and seemingly impossible trek. His positivity fueled (pun intended ) his success.

The first step to accomplishing goals in life is being in a positive mindset. Optimism breeds success. How could anyone else believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself? There’s a Ted Talk that my brother insisted I listen to entitled, “The Happy Secret To Better Work,” where psychologist Shawn Anchor examines the connection between success and happiness. Essentially, Anchor concludes that as a society, our formula for success is skewed. It’s backwards. We put success before happiness. Whether it be a new job, a promotion, a fitness goal, or whatever we have our mind set on at the moment; we convince ourselves that once we accomplish this task- happiness will follow. The problem is, as Anchor explains, the more positive we are as human beings, the more productive and successful we are. It’s science. Optimistic individuals have an advantage, because they are more engaged, more determined, more creative and inherently more successful. This was an “aha!” moment for me. In NYC there are so many people running around on “E” in the pursuit of whatever they define as “success”. If we, as a society, stop for a moment and realize that taking care of our mental health comes prior to anything and everything in life- we could potentially reach our goals with greater ease.

For the last week, the very first thing I ask myself in the morning is, Why not me? It puts me in the right mental state to take on the day and whatever comes my way. While happiness is, in my opinion, transient – the ability to remain confident and hopeful about our futures is our decision to make. If we choose to live our lives with a pessimistic attitude, we’re giving all the people who believe in themselves a clear advantage at getting ahead. Maybe we all need to channel our inner-elementary school selves and get back a little of that “I can do anything I want to do” outlook. In the end, the three seemingly simple words, “Why not me?” are so much more profound when you make an effort to actually embrace them. We only have one life to live, afterall- so, Why not you?

https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en